American Athens

Months after they first announced its inception, the official list of the 200 albums that comprise the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (RRHOF) Definitive 200 list has finally been unleashed on an angry world and boy does it suck. Considered to be 200 albums that every music lover should own, it should be noted that The Definitive 200 is not an attempt to spark a dialogue on the history of pop music, but rather a transparent attempt by the record industry to spark sales in their back catalogue. In addition to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (who inducted their first hip-hop act just this week!!!), the list is co-sponsored by the National Association of Recording Merchandisers (NARM), which represents over 7,000 music stores in the U.S.

I know these type of lists are supposed to suck–what was I expecting? Well, when I first heard about this list I assumed that it would have some integrity and that I would at least be able to respect the first 10 selections. This however, was not the case. It seems as though the completely out of touch RRHOF decided to have circus animals rank these though osmosis. If this list was unranked I would almost be able to shut up about it, but since the RRHOF decided to rank these albums 1-200, they have left themselves wide open to my insults. I will now rant through (some of) what I see to be glaring omissions and laughable choices at ranking the Definitive 200 albums of all time:

1. BEATLES - SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND

Was this decision made by a team of middle school boys circa 1992? Pepper, while a great album compared to others by other artists, is not even the best Beatles album. Yes, it did revolutionize the idea of the album as a piece of art but musically can’t stand up next to Revolver (#42), Abbey Road (#12) and the White Album (#39). Bad choice #1 for #1.

13. SANTANA – SUPERNATURAL

What!?!? The one with the Rob Thomas song? 13^th best album of all time? Are you fucking kidding me? There was this album released in the 60’s called Abraxas, someone needs to get it over to the HOF right now. Santana is a great band because of their ability to push musical boundaries and blend the music of many cultures into rock and roll. Not sell albums to 12-year-olds.

21. SHANIA TWAIN - COME ON OVER

Albums listed lower than Shania Twain’s Come on Over: Miles Davis Kind of Blue (#34), 4 Beatles albums, Bob Dylan Blood on The Tracks (#157!!!), Johnny Cash At Folsom Prison (#77). Case closed.

107. KENNY G – BREATHLESS

Blah, Blah, Blah, Kenny G sucks, yeah I know. But to understand the atrocity of this list we need to examine the rankings at 108, 109, 110 and 111. #108 NWA Straight Outta Compton, #109 Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks…, #110 The Beatles Rubber Soul, #111 Radiohead OK Computer. So, the RRHOF and NARM is trying to have us believe that Kenny (Fucking) G’s album Breathless, is better than the most important west cost hip-hop album ever, one of the most important British punk albums ever, arguably the first great Beatles album, and the best album produced in the 1990’s. OK sure, yea, this list is totally credible.

Wow, I hate this list so much. I could go on and on but I will probably start cutting myself. Lists like this are supposed to spark debate and lively conversation. But remember, this list is supposed to make you buy these albums.

I could probably write another post about the omissions from this list, but here cursory list of artists who did not make the “Definitive” 200:

There are no albums in the “Definitive” 200 by:

The Band

James Brown

CCR

Cream or Derrick and the Dominos

B.B. King

Jane’s Addiction

Patti Smith

Talking Heads

Television

Wilco

Wu-Tang Clan

However, the RRHOF could make room for Avril Lavigne, Creed and Grand Funk Railroad, because these clowns made much more important music than either James Brown or The Band.

Not to mention Old Dirty:

This entry was posted on Friday, March 9th, 2007 at 12:45 and is filed under lecollye. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.